so... you're saying there's a chance?!

lately there has been a trend where i apparenlty can't just be "friends" with a guy. what ever happened to the "friend zone"? i was happy in the "friend zone"!!!

situation 1: friend tries to be "more than" a friend.
culprit: matt. known the dude since i was a wee 19 yr old undergrad at byu-i. he's the older bro of my friend shelly....
so naturally when shelly got married last month he was in town and wanted to meet up to say hi.
crime scene: in-n-out.... where matt meets me to say hi. which he said a lot more than hi. he said he's liked me ever since he's meet me, there was never the right time in college to ask me out, he's ready to be a father, gave me his 2 year plan..... oh gag. than asks me to be in a long distance relationship. NO. plus i had a good excuse - i was "dating" someone. sort of... but that worked for a good excuse.
death by cell phone: monday night matt call to tell me shelly is pregnant. yeah shelly - bad for me that he has a good excuse to call....... long call short.... i finally said "if you're fishing for the info if i'm still dating that guy - no i'm not" (i've never been good at lying about relationships. character flaw). so he asked me out for TWO MONTHS IN ADVANCE. apparently he's going to be here in a few months to visit the fam... and take me out. i said sure - IF - i'm not dating anyone AND if i have nothing better to do. (obligatory date situation. guilt)

situation 2: an ex-"more than a friend" tries to be friendly.... and fails - BADLY
culprit: jeff
crime scene: while i was out with everyone for my bday.... way to crash my night. thanks
death by cell phone: he sent me 2 texts - "have any big plans for your b-day?!?!?!?!" and "how are you by the way?" um... yeah loser i have friends and fam (....my fam are my friends) that like me and are fun so yeah i'm out. go figure. and "how are you BY THE WAY?" haven't heard from the dude in weeks and than on my bday.... BY THE WAY how are you? suck my back. all i reply back with "yeah i'm out with my girls right now." end of conversation.... end of JEFF.

situation 3: a benign acquaintance thinks i'm coming onto him
culprit: jarom
crime scene: cinco de mustache party. i show up happy and ready to party because i literally JUST finished my french final and had no worries and i looked mexicana sexy! so i see jarom there...hey dude? we chat... he talks a lot. he asks "what have you been up to since the camping trip?" i sarcastically (and TOTALLY joking) ask "where have you been all my life?" playing on his stupid question. he takes me seriously - as if i just used a really bad line on him. and answers "um... taken." seriously?! um.... NO! i was kidding... j/k.... ja blogue. how many languages can i say "I'm just kidding" in? so he gets all weird and jets. see you later... or hopefully NEVER.